Autobiography of an Idiot

Every single person who writes an autobiography is in my “respectable and highly appreciated” view, an idiot. Now the respectable and highly appreciated is put in there because every one of these people who seeks to inform the world about their life story believes that is how the public perceives their view. To me, a memoir is nothing more than the ultimate self flattery- you are convincing yourself that you are amazing, you are great, you did so many amazing things in your childhood. However, all of it, or at least a major set of facts is, if not completely fabricated is at least a stretching of the facts.

Here’s why:

No one has the ability to remember their whole lives. Those who do generally don’t write an autobiography because they end up living far too much in the past. Now here’s how we store our memories- we remember the best part about them, and even negative things start taking a positive light after some quantum of time. Now once this happens you are conveying a rosy eyed view of your life in an autobiography, you can check this by tallying up the number of good, happy things that happened in someone’s life versus the bad, negative things. In most cases the first always outnumbers the second. However, we all know that a bad thing has a much stronger impact on us than a good one, quantitatively it’s about twice as prominent in our memory. This would mean then, that the number of bad things people remember should be twice as much. But this never seems to be the case. Thus by method of contradiction I have proved that most autobiographies or even biographies are falsified on some level.

That had a very “prove this” feel to it, but what I have stated provides clear enough logic on why it’s quite stupid to believe in ANYTHING someone says in a bio, you might as well read a fictional account of some person-at least it doesn’t try to fool you into believing it’s the real story.


Every mirror has not just one plane screen, it has 2 – the glass and the silver, both of which are a reflecting unto themselves containing the separate slivers that come together to form the final image. This interview has those two pieces conversing with each other – to either your amusement or your derision, see it as you will.

Hereafter the interviewer = IW(glass-the paler part of the image), interviewee =IE(silver, the stronger part of the image).

IW: Why are you doing this interview?

IE: I think I have something of a split personality and I want to get my side of the story out here.

IW: Don’t you think it’s a tad childish?

IE: Maybe, but then, I believe in the eternal quote “Growing old is mandatory but growing up isn’t”; so what if it’s childish?

IW: So what do you want to talk about?

IE: Why you’re interviewing me.

IW:Fine. Why am I interviewing you?

IE:You see I believe that everyone deserves to have a simple question and answer session on a regular basis with their subconscious, just to ascertain that they are whoever they think they are. Who do you think you are?

IW:I am you. So YOU tell ME.

IE: Well, I believe a lot of things about myself but more than anything else I believe in being principled. It is the key to being SOMEONE, by choosing to live by certain principles you are choosing to distinguish yourself from the mob that seeks to overwhelm every single one of us. More importantly, you have to stay true to them uncompromisingly only then will you be seen as a propagator of what you stand for, you will become a symbol for it-just as Batman did or as Rorschach did in Watchmen.

IW: Wouldn’t that mean, albeit in an abstract way, that you are styling yourself on the superhero Rorschach(or anyone else), which in turn sounds just like superhero worship to me.

IE: Like most people you are focusing only on the ending part of what I said, Rorschach agreed was uncompromising, but his principles aren’t what yours or mine would be. What your principles are defines you, you don’t have to make them as superheroes do, and being uncompromising about right and wrong defined Rorschach, that in itself was his principle. Copying someone else’s principles is not wrong as long as you have just as strong a belief or more in them as the person who came up with them did.

IW: You seem good at giving answers to yourself, have you done it before?

IE: Yes and no. I have of course done something on these lines  before, but never have I given a descriptive argument for every question that has been thus asked, also I usually convey things with a plethora of images and feelings, making it easier for me to interpret whatever it may be.

IW:How would you like to conclude the interview?

IE: Fear has now become a staple diet of the masses, we consume it through words, pictures and actions-especially from ourselves. That fear tends to clog everyone’s pipes-considering everyone’s life as a pipe(thinking of the old Windows screensaver?), so if you really want to flow, flow with the time, the moment and with yourself, you have to unclog the pipe, you have to remove that fear.

An unforgettable trip…an unbelievable experience…

”This is going to be too easy “, I thought. The most significant challenge one can face is holding strong in the face of possible death.

Karan’s birthday treat to all his friends was to take us camping. We’d gone to the outskirts of Bangalore for a two-day camping trip. Part of the trip was a trek to the top of a small hill near the area we were camping.

I’ve always enjoyed trekking simply for the beautiful views from the peak. I don’t mind going to extremes for this purpose. I love looking at the world from a higher vantage point- to look at what I see linearly in 3D and for its entirety.

We left early in the morning around seven and took sandwiches with us to have on the trek up for breakfast. We carried with us a big two-litre water bottle that we thought would be sufficient for the entire trek.  A local guided the trek, warning us early on, that there were leopards in the area. Then he told us that they normally didn’t hunt during the day. All six of us there heaved a sigh of relief! As I realized, we were yet to learn many things from the trek.

While trekking uphill, we had fun trying to locate a peacock whose call we could hear clearly. That wily peacock eluded us despite our concerted efforts. There were thorn plants nearly every inch of the way, which we had trouble avoiding; and our clothes kept getting caught in it.

Several places uphill, sheer rock faces made us feel we were doing professional rock climbing. Besides a few scratches from thorns, we were all safe and still energetic after reaching the summit of the climb. At the peak, the view was exhilarating. I could see the hills all around abounding with greenery.

We were all so excited on reaching the top that we continued without really keeping a track of where we were headed. Inevitably, we got lost. We didn’t remember the path we had followed and neither did our ‘trusted’ guide. The surroundings gave us no clue in discerning the path we had come by.

Our guide looked for a new path down and checked the surrounding areas, until he found one that didn’t seem particularly dangerous. We followed that path down.

Expecting no problems in trekking, we had not equipped ourselves with safety harnesses. The first part of the path involved sliding down a steep rock face. The only thing that ensured our safe landing was the friction between our jeans and the rock. I was terrified but felt excited, as I could see the drop into a thick thorn forest just beyond the rock face and I feared that my momentum would carry me too far. I was slightly overweight and  this place seemed to be rooting out the unfit. But physics meant that the smarter person was also fitter. I ensured that on my way down I kept my velocity to a minimum and achieved maximum friction by keeping my body pressed against the rock surface. Though it was life-threatening, it gave me a  feeling of excitement and exhilaration. I knew I wouldn’t let anything happen to me.

I had the strength to hold on. I arrived at the bottom of it feeling thoroughly proud of myself and thinking that I could go home now. The ‘happy ending’ was still a long way to come. After navigating a few steep curves and drops we found ourselves in the middle of the thick thorn forest.

The thorn forest wasn’t at all sympathetic to our plight, and kept scratching us as we went further down the hill. Many of us got cuts and bites as well. In some places we were forced to nearly break the plants partially to make our way through. Our only source of direction was the feeling that we were headed down an incline. In the meantime we faced a new predicament as someone had finished up the water and it didn’t look like we were any closer to civilization than before. We moved on unhindered- there were bigger things to worry about.

After over an hour of getting scratched, cut, bitten and tripped by the tree roots, we made it into a slightly more open area. Our dismay was acute; we were still,miles away from our campsite. There was nothing to be done but to move on and I lead the way in the general direction of our camp while our guide kept looking for simpler paths. I tried to look for trails that had fewer plants and trees with thorns. Taking a stick, I proceeded to hack down plants that blocked our way.

It had now been over four hours since we had left the camp and we were all dehydrated and feared that one of us would faint. At an opportune time we found a plant with edible berries , we ate them with a ferocity unmatched in even the most primal animals. Times of stress always bring out the survival instincts inherent in all humans.

After another hour of charting our own way through the forest, we came out into a field which was close to our campsite. A yell of sheer, unadulterated joy reached till the heavens. Those of us with a little energy to spare, ran for the safety of civilization. Five hours and twenty minutes after we started the trek, we returned to the camp. One of my friends admitted to finishing the water but all of us were too relieved to do or say anything to him.

The feeling I had, was one of joy, love for life and a desire to develop my physical strength. Luckily all of us were brave enough and had the strength to go through all those tough paths. We are all primitive to the extent of animals when our survival instincts come to the fore. It is only the strong who can hold on to their sophistication in such dire times. While I hadn’t fallen prey to becoming entirely ‘primitive’, I had also not held to my sophistication as, if I had I might not have been in the situation in the first place!

This happened in tenth and till date I have constantly got a feeling of sheer exhilaration on thinking about it…

New thoughts…

“Enjoy your life cAuse u aiN‘t gonna get out of it Alive”

Steve Jobs emphasized oN always living your life as though each Day is your last.. Because he understood the meaning each day had. He’d gone on the path of death and managed to veer off from it before cancer took his life. Life is short no ? I mean ok we get say 70 years on Earth .. in those 70 years some ISRO who had came to our school ,said the amount of useful time we hav is less than a tenth of out lives… Im not too sure on those statistics though.. In that much time how many of us actually do something useful to humanity or the Earth ? How many of us have felt that we’ve truly lived our life ?

Is life worth living if u dont actually live but just survive ? Should we choose to end our life if we  just survive ? Or should we think that we would be selfish to do that .. that we’d hurt those near and dear to us too much if we did that… I guess it would be better to end the purposeless struggle and the monotony that sets in ,in some peoples lives..

But think of the parents of that person who chose to end his life because he felt was of no use to the world and that he was only an embarrassment … I weep for that person … He didn’t deserve such a life.. But he could have made a conscious choice to change and never go back to who he was .. At least those ‘ near and dear ones ‘ could choose to understand what was happening in that guy’s mind.. You can’t just blame someone without thought.. Its like condemning someone to jail without knowing the case…

Suicide is not the modicum of the weak … it is the mode of communication of the powerful .. At least for some.. They choose to say that im not going to do this anymore.. im not going to let these people suffer because of me anymore… These people are martyrs to their line of thought… For many though … Its only a mode of escape .. These people are weak .. But we should always remember that even we were weak when we were kids .. These people who are weak could grow.. Unlike kids ..they wont grow in the body but in the mind…

In the US a novel project called the ‘Yellow ribbon project’ was started a few years back.. It tells those who feel they should commit suicide to just talk about it..There are people ready to listen to them..Its saved thousands of lives to date..

I know i contradicted myself several times in the article .. But its because i dont no wat to think now…Something happened that confused me..And made me wonder whether this life is worth living for those people who no they arent doing anything with the gift of life given to them ..For anyone who has thought of suicide..Remember that you werent brought to life so you could kill yourself..You dont no wats on the other side either so .. Just think about it..  Life might just be better… 🙂

That advert which says “its your life .. live it large” (Seagrams or something)..Makes so much sense..

The Open 10K Run

A beautiful day and an even better event awaited me on the morning of May 31st. The Sunfeast Open Run, for bangaloreans and true athletes occurred that day.I had deemed myself fit enough to participate in the Open 10 where i had to run 10 km .

Just thinking about it excited me to no end.So , to build up my stamina i ran, on an average , 3 km daily.On several days i even managed to run 8 km without breaking a sweat ( figuratively,literally i just meant that i didnt faint after returning home … 😀 ). By the time the last Sunday of May faced me,i felt fairly confident i could run the entire 10k.

On race-day,me and mum set out fairly early,hoping to be one of the early birds who caught a parking spot . The run began at 8:10 and i hoped to be at the starting line by 8:00,jumping around and getting warmed up. But it was not to be as we spent an enormous amount off time searching for a place to park .Every road seemed to be blocked off , and to make it worse we had a booked parking spot at UB city, which was in the middle of where the run was to take place.My mother finally decided to drop me off at the nearest point to the starting point and hunt for a parking spot solo .

I ended up reaching the enclosement from which you had to go to the starting line, at 8:10.I decided not to waste any more time and bolted over the fence which seperated me from the starting line.A truly unique way to start a run i must say ! Because of which i gave myself a thigh cramp(which i didnt realise at all at the time) which lasted a week, wasted a lot of energy and damaged my phone simultaneously.I started the run at 8:22. I met up with guys from the previous batches of NHVPS whom i knew but i didnt meet them again until the end of the run.

At the outset i had to keep elbowing past people so that i could keep up my speed , in the process i lost a considerable amount of energy.I think this and the fence-hopping were the two factors which prevented me from running the whole 10 kilometres. Until around 5 km the adrenaline coursing through my body, my compettitive spirit,the music playing at full volume in my ears and built up stamina kept me going at a berserk pace.But then i had to slow down after the 5k mark and even walk for a few hundred metres. After that i ended up walking then subsequently wasting the energy built up from the walking by spring. I continued this ‘modus operandi’ for a while before settling a slow jog till the 9k mark. After which i used every ounce of energy left in me to run the last kilometer.Along the way the participants were provided with glucose water, which turned out to be life-savers since you really need to stay hydrated on such a run.

I completed the run in just under 51 minutes . I recieved refreshments from the run crew and was reunted with the nhvps guys. After receiving my participation certificat i spent the rest of the day in bliss at my completion of the run.However my exertions caught up with me at the end of the day and i was exhausted. I slept through the evening and felt better only by mmorning….

On the whole, the run was exciting and truly exhilarating.It was one of the high points of my lfe till date… 🙂

Turnin 17 …

I’ve finally turned 17…Yay !!

But then i wonder what there is to actually rejoice about..Hav i accomplished something great in life …Hav i changed the world in some way…That i can actually be happy that another year of my life is spent..Well ok…At the very least in another year i can vote and drive a car …But anything else ?…Nothin…For some reason , on a day i should be celebratin…i see no reason to do so…I still will of course…

But i feel like an insignificant speck among 6 billion people who has just spent another year of his life on Earth..

A bit too philosophical i guess…But i cant help but retrospect on what good things have happened in my life … I got potty trained… 😀 …I learned to walk..I learned to ride a tricycle and how to bang into a pole by not trying to aim for it (ouch ! …that must’ve hurt..thankfully i dont remember it)….I got my first scar by falling off a chair…I attempted a getaway on my dad’s scooter ( 😀 ) and ended up breaking my ankle for my trouble…When i was 7 i experienced the delights of a cordless phone , i walked around on the street outside talkin on it … i was so proud that my dad could buy such stuff in the US…..I saw the ‘modern,developed world’ when i went to the US to join my dad there wen i was 8..I found out that Anirudh should be pronounced “Aaneeru”..I visited different places in the US and enjoyed my time there before it was cut short since my dad was transferred back to India…Then i joined DPS …And realised that my tummy had a couple of extra inches on it… I guess i sorta had fun in DPS…not the whole time but some of it at least…I made some great friends there too…

Then…I finally did something that got me recognised by people…Quite a few people at least…I got 96% in my tenth board and everyone said that was really good and i was verry verry full of myself….Of course 11th blew that balloon…For 11th i joined national hill view public school…and for all its formalities and discipline and procedure it turned out to be a really good school…My whole class really welcomed me with open arms and hearts…Thanks to all of u guys 🙂 … I loved my first year in the school and hopefully made a difference somewhere and somehow or the other ended up the vice captain too…Probably the worst one the school’ll ever have…But i’ll leave my mark somehow…

Now..This year is supposed to be the most important year of anyone’s school lives..Maybe i’ll do some good in it..

I guess i’ve had a pretty fun life and i’ll make sure nothing ever makes it ‘un’fun !!

Long time…No Write :D

Its been a long time since i last blogged and it feels good to finally be doing it again.Yea,@whoever bothers to read any of my blogs…none of u has bothered givin me any ideas of how to spend my holidays..I’m diasappointed 😦 …. Anyway the end of the school year was pretty uneventful…And one of the few changes was that a new person was now givin the commands in assembly…Who else but Apoorva,our school captain…Just an innocent observation : shes definitely the shortest school captain our school has ever had ! :)… (And ever since i said – wen we were introduced to the school- “I’ll do anything she doesn’t “…i’ve been haunted by those words..ugh… I’m expected to do anythin she doesnt which pretty much sums up to me askin Princy to give us more Games periods !)

So then in the last month of school ,our teachers tried to drain out all the work that they could from us before we got a chance to rejuvenate in the holidays..Though that rejuvenation has not looked like its gonna happen at all now that i’m in the middle of the hols.Every week we were pounded wit test after test, and becaus of it school grew really tiring after just a few days of twelfth.Our new classroom is a nice change,though i initially liked it only for the view it afforded me from the window … And we have a great class teacher now – Anita ma’am,no offence to Pamela ma’am but after a month with Anita ma’am as our class teacher i definitely like her way more.

Our holidays started on April 10th..and i didnt even attend the last day of school because i was sick.I had fever through the last week of school and i didnt get to wish anyone a sarcastic “Happy Holidays”..Well that pretty much meant that i had a slight extension to my holidays ..Like it really made a difference since all i did was eat and sleep..and listen to music.And for me it wasn’t really like the summer vacation at all since BASE had already restarted and now i really had to get serious …i guess i am…Way more serious about getting into IIT than i was last year…I’ve been trying to postpone the inevitable by not yet having started studying for the IITJEE , everyone says its necessary to start a year before the exam or u cant manage a good rank…

My holidays actually had a pretty good beginning wit me meeting up wit my DPS friends , we went out and watched Fast and the Furious 4.The best part was that it was ‘A’ rated ( god knows why though) and yet, all i had to say was that i had passed my 2nd PU board and they let me through..Haha…Kinda proves i am still a teenager since i get highs from doing such lame things…A few days later i met up wit Vineet and we had a good time for a day…I had my first base test of second year a few days back and did well so right now i’m feeling rather full of myself . I dono wen that balloon is gonna be punctured..Thats it for now..I think i’ll put up a review of Fast and the furious 4 for the hec of it …Soon…

The end of an eventful 11th…

Eleventh standard has ended , well not until i get my report card on March 2nd but in my head its ended anyway. Woo hoo !!

Yea so then..on seventh, i think, we held a farewell party for the twelfths.That was pretty fun..We had them running all over school on an ‘amazing race ‘ kind of game then we sat in a small orchard kinda place in front of school and just had some fun..It was pretty good..

They were blessed on Valentine’s day along with the tenths on the annual blessing ceremony of school,Aashirvachan.They were given mementoes and had to light a lamp each.Then the new captain was chosen…and pretty much all of had predicted who it was …Apoorva !(yay…go apoorva !!:)).And in a strange quirk of fate they decided to name me the vice captain of school…Now this was actually a surprise..Anyway after the programme we had a tearful  parting… I didn’t know most of the twelfths very well except Pavana, so, besides her, there’s nobody i’ll miss particularly..But one thing’s for sure they were a great batch …I barely knew the tenths so i cant comment on them..

The school with all exams ..were relatively boring..There was loads to study and yet i couldn’t resist watching TV for at least 3 hours everyday…The exams went well for me at least ..though i did mess up maths a bit ..but no problem a new year is starting and all these exams are officially of the past ( again , only in my head ,caus they aren’t actually ‘of the past’ till i get my marks).Right now i’m feeling bored in a short vacation our school decided to give before what could be the worst year of my ,as yet,short life …I dont no wat to do these hols(except play b’ball) so anybody with any ideas pls tell me…

Children’s Day 14th Nov 2008

There are days in everyone’s lives which are unforgettable. Such days are as rare as snow in summer .Children’s Day, this year was one such day.
On the cloud covered morning of Children’s Day, November 14th, a wonderful spectrum of colours graced our school. All the students were in their best ethnic wear. It was truly a sight to behold.
Our teachers went all out to prove to us that they loved us immensely. And this time, they were going about their last minute preparations for their surprise show.
The show started with an invocation dance followed by a puppet show and a skit. They gave it their best and though it was rather amusing watching what the teachers did , it was a source of great pride that our teachers cared so much about us that they were willing to go any lengths to make us happy. The show was only a glimpse of what was to come.
A mini-Carnival was organized in the school grounds hosted by the teachers themselves. The carnival comprised of a variety of stalls from throwing darts to playing blindfolded basketball. Spicing things up was the food stall. And it didn’t end there as everyone also had the chance to have something designed on their hands or face with mehendi.
And lo behold… we came across a fortune-teller in our school grounds! Sujatha ma’am in the guise of a gypsy had taken the role of revealing what the future had in store for us. Everyone enjoyed this stall which gave funny but sometimes rather meaningful insights into our lives, which often turned out to be true. To add a “tune to this tale” was our beloved Latha ma’am who metamorphed into a rocking “RJ”. Thanks to her, the students were allowed to dedicate any song they wanted.
Small kids were treated to a tractor ride. The tractor ride was the epitome of the simple joys of life. The smaller kids found the ride exhilarating and this would have gone on all day had it not been for the time.
As the festivities came to a close, Principal ma’am gave us a closing speech. She thanked us and all the teachers for having made this an amazing day…a day to be treasured. She hoped that we had a good time and wished us the best for the future.
The last few minutes of the day were spent in class, wishing that the time would never end. This was a day everyone will cherish in their hearts forever.
This was the article that myself and Vineet wrote to describe our Children’s day celebrations in our school and it was supposed to appear in the Times paper but I have no idea if it did . The two days were total fun and the carnival idea was magnificentand I think that it was great that our school actually went to the extent of organizing it. Basically , it was like having two days free and on one of them we were allowed to wear informal clothes. It was pure unaldulterated fun…..   😉


Children’s Day was first celebrated worldwide in October 1953, under the sponsorship of International Union for Child Welfare in Geneva. The idea of a Universal Children’s Day was mooted by Rubab Mansoor grade 8 and adopted by the United Nations General Assembly in 1954.

Universal Children’s Day takes place on November 20 annually. First proclaimed by the United Nations General Assembly in 1954, it was established to encourage all countries to institute a day, firstly to promote mutual exchange and understanding among children and secondly to initiate action to benefit and promote the welfare of the world’s children. It was also chosen as the day to celebrate childhood.

November 20 is also the anniversary of the day when the United Nations General Assembly adopted the Declaration of the Rights of the Child in 1959. The Convention on the Rights of the Child was then signed on the same day in 1989, which has since been ratified by 191 states.

My Holidays – Dasera Oct 2007

Not too eventful . . . But really fun . . These holidays were to be used for studying . . but as is my way i wasn’t able to make full use of the free time i got . . . The first week of the holidays i spent whiling away my rime in front of tv , a book or the comp occasionally . . . I have my base exam after another two weeks and i was supposed to be preparing for it . And there’s another exam next month for a scholarship. . . So all my work is piling up . . . oh . . and theres a quiz sometime after two weeks . . . my only consolation was that i did pretty well at my first semester exams . . not great but i at least got a 98 in maths which is 1 less than my board marks . . same in english . . . 1 less than my board marks that is . . . In the first week i was able to spend loads of time with my mom so that was great . We went and watched the movie “Rock on ” at inox and she bought me new basketball shoes . . . something i’ve always wanted even though these look a bit too formal . . . And i walked the 8 kilometers to my grandmoms house since i was feelings a little bored and jobless . I wasted and enjoyed that day , spending it with my cousin brother and his dog . . . Then on Sunday i went out with my friends . . . finally . . . i thought we’d never manage to go anywhere . We watched “Kidnap” at the newly opened garuda in jayanagar and had lunch at the pizza hut there . . . We spent some time at Apoorva’s house . . . troubling her mom to run home from her grandparents house . . . then me , Vineet and sanchita left there by 5:30 and i ran some 4 kilometers home (yay!) . The rest of the week i sqeezed in some studying , completed most of my holiday homework and went to school on Friday . And that was the end of my holidays . . . . The end