Autobiography of an Idiot

Every single person who writes an autobiography is in my “respectable and highly appreciated” view, an idiot. Now the respectable and highly appreciated is put in there because every one of these people who seeks to inform the world about their life story believes that is how the public perceives their view. To me, a memoir is nothing more than the ultimate self flattery- you are convincing yourself that you are amazing, you are great, you did so many amazing things in your childhood. However, all of it, or at least a major set of facts is, if not completely fabricated is at least a stretching of the facts.

Here’s why:

No one has the ability to remember their whole lives. Those who do generally don’t write an autobiography because they end up living far too much in the past. Now here’s how we store our memories- we remember the best part about them, and even negative things start taking a positive light after some quantum of time. Now once this happens you are conveying a rosy eyed view of your life in an autobiography, you can check this by tallying up the number of good, happy things that happened in someone’s life versus the bad, negative things. In most cases the first always outnumbers the second. However, we all know that a bad thing has a much stronger impact on us than a good one, quantitatively it’s about twice as prominent in our memory. This would mean then, that the number of bad things people remember should be twice as much. But this never seems to be the case. Thus by method of contradiction I have proved that most autobiographies or even biographies are falsified on some level.

That had a very “prove this” feel to it, but what I have stated provides clear enough logic on why it’s quite stupid to believe in ANYTHING someone says in a bio, you might as well read a fictional account of some person-at least it doesn’t try to fool you into believing it’s the real story.